piplump:

Pros and cons of boys:

  • Con: They’re dicks
  • Pro: Their dicks

minestuck:

alternate title: young children gawk at flaming homosexuals

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

veganvibez:

do you know how scary it is to acknowledge how strong your feelings are for someone and your brain is like “maybe you love them” and you’re like SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT

pemwin:

ladybowtheboo:

asobita-i:

Reblog for the last one

it’s a game show where everyone eats the furniture in a room and tries to see which is made of chocolate

So basically you’re telling me this is the best fucking game ever created

arrogantanupapaya:

melodicallyinsane:

chr0nicle-x:

THERE’S ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD

this gives me life

bless this dude

bikinipowerbottom:

im not ashamed to admit that id let 26 year old Joe Biden hit it

bikinipowerbottom:

im not ashamed to admit that id let 26 year old Joe Biden hit it

tonyswirl:

ineffable-hufflepuff:

misandryevans:

babymarkers:

the-chocolate-chip-pancake:

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

3th time i’ve reblogged this
Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
girl: ....who?
me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*

thefoxxnextdoor:

My thing is, have sex whenever you decide to want to have sex. You want to have sex on the first night, go ahead. You want to have sex after 20 dates, go ahead. You want to never have sex, go ahead. People think that someone’s sexual choices actually coincide with their personality. If all you can think of someone’s worth is whether they want to have sex or not, then the problem is probably you.